Love comes in the morning

You heal through admitting what has hurt you and being vulnerable through that honesty.
-Some mornings I wake up to the memories gripping my eyelids open to find that you’re not here- I don’t know why bad days drag me back to you. Some days I try to fill myself with your love and I end up walking around like a silhouette of who I am. Some days I remember your hands and how for the longest time I believed hands were for feeling and not holding- I am too abundant for lust.
To think I’m still trying to pull you out of me, and they are days I’m too loyal to let go I end up spoon feeding myself with your love- those are the days I go to bed starving. I’ll admit sometimes I think you shoved your emptiness in me and that’s how you healed. I got on all fours for you and I called that stability. Somedays like last week Monday I wake up under all the words I’ve ever written to you- i wake up drowning in the love I tried to prove to you- my love is not my graveyard. I won’t kill myself to love someone. This Monday I woke up remembering I can call the words by name, and that I’m my own savior and that when love is heavy it is supposed to be an anchor not a burden. And that drowning is not romantic…
-Returning myself to myself .


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